A18

by Paul Merrigan
This Week Staff

Stumble Upon

del.icio.us

Digg

Facebook

Print

Email

Speak Up

Many parents dread and avoid the tough topics with their kids.

A lot of this stems from how, or even if, our own parents talked to us about certain topics. One of the most difficult and challenging topics for parents is often sex and sexuality.

Our society seems to overtly advertise sex without any thought to the act or aftermath itself.

Kids are exposed to sexual images on television, on the internet and in magazines every day and unless parents take the initiative to give accurate information, we have to ask ourselves, where are they going to get this information from, if not us?

Do we leave them to discover this information on their own, or worse yet, get it from peers who may have gotten their own information from anyone or anywhere?

Many studies have shown that children who feel that they can talk to their parents openly about sex are less likely to engage in risky sexual behaviour as teens.

If the topic of sex is one that you aren't comfortable with or you feel unprepared to talk about it, then you should read up on it and get yourself ready.

"How to Talk to Your Child About Sex" by Linda and Richard.Eyre and "It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families" by Robie H. Harris and illustrated by Michael Emberley are two books that may be good starting places.

A lot of parents don't necessarily fear the subject of sex so much as being asked questions to which they may not know the answers.

The most important thing to remember when talking to your children is to stay calm and honest.

If you let your kids know that no topic is forbidden to discuss, you're building an excellent foundation for communication.

Don't stress about admitting discomfort to your kids.

Try saying something like "I'm a little uncomfortable talking about sex because it's something my parents never talked about with me.

"I want you to trust me enough to talk to me about anything, even sex. I want you to come to me if you have questions. If I don't know the answer either, we'll find out."

Teaching your child about sex requires a continuous flow of information that should really begin as early as possible.

When teaching your toddler where his nose and toes are, include "this is your penis" or "this is your vagina" in your talks.

As your child gets older, you can continue their education by adding more materials gradually until they understand the subject of sex clearly.

* Paul Merrigan is a certified private personal counsellor and stay-at-home dad to two boys. He holds a M.Ed. in Counselling Psychology. To contact him or ask a parenting question for a future column, email paulmerrigan@hotmail.com or call 364-7401.